At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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