we have pet lesbian snakes
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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