I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
