im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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