So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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