I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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