Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
