who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
