Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
