So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
