I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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