Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
