did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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