JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
