It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
