Nicole vs. Life
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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