I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
