Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
