I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My balls are so social today.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
