pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I touched a dick in church today
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
