He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This baby is an asshole
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
