you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
third nipple confirmed
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
