Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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