sarcasm needs its own font
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Are we still banned from the library?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My vagina just clenched in fear
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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