You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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