I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
