Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
