Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
