Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
