He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I understand Curling. That high.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize