It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
