new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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