what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
