Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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