yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
