those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
