when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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