honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
