Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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