do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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