When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
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