u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
