So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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