I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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