After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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