You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
you're hired as official boob wrangler
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
