Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
