i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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