i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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