thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
