i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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