She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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