Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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