Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
