the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
