k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
