she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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