Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize