alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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