when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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