u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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