Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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